The impossible / Musings

It’s OK to lean into the idea that not everything is possible for everyone.

Not everything is possible for me.

Right now I am facing (what feels like are) two impossible choices:

I can go down the route of hectic emotional closeness, which embodies slightly manic highs and more than likely crushing lows.

Or

I can go down the route of distance, which embodies grounded calm and more than likely moments of deep sorrow.

The impossible I wish was possible? Closeness and inner calm.

But then again, deep sorrow is calm.

Sorrow is not hectic. Sorrow places no demands. Sorrow is pure and light and wishes you nothing but love.

Feeling close to someone, feeling safe with someone, it is the feeling they make you carry when you are apart. It is the feeling that make you choose to move in their direction.

If you face them and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your mind races, then turn around. To safety. To the closeness of those who comfort you simply with their presence.

I’ll hold you in my sorrow. And be calm.