I’m Fine / Paintings

I have always loved this painting, disturbing as it is. Yet I threw it away shortly after it was made.

Perhaps I didn’t want to manifest further chaos. Perhaps I was perturbed by how my calm hands had so accurately portrayed my secret inner life.

It’s what I said, always; ‘I’m fine.’

I am now. Or beginning to be. When I’m not, I remember this painting, how lonely it is to ‘be fine,’ and I allow myself not to be.